⏰ am i = me?

Yup ... I have this question unanswered yet," Am I = Me?" So its not suprising that you too have this doubts arising now. Okay, Alas. I just begin to blog out what my words in throat feared for swords of society or my inner ethics! Who knows?

Attempt to blog out through the impressively thought of page title, probably a cliché, here is "just something" through the thought vent-in its literal sense.

Yep, it's the age, but I'm in the fag end of teenage, why now? Perhaps it's the world that has all of a sudden transformed into "something" , to cater to the need to polish me for the uncertain road ahead, saying so, here I am, subconsciously placing myself as the only "player" in this game! More often than not, it is the anxiousness associated with the end of this dependent existence. Or a more simple theory- biology got it all wrong; confusion, mood swings, uncertainty and insecurity does not necessarily surface during the early teens.

Some time ago, there was bliss, where astrologers and priests were cool chaps and the celestial bodies(Space) and warfare were nothing but the most worthy of all fields of study. Future is uncertain.This is precisely where things change forever, those emotions surface, and you have this blog.

Even it thinks BIG!

Now this calls out for contemplation, what is this "ego"? Something that unfailingly intrigues me, perhaps, this a la carte personality trait is not something to feel guilty about! Maybe it's just your high self-esteem appearing as a negative trait to your opponents (not allies). But, why to consider if you have no true allies,when no axis? Because when we feel being played by, we look into the mirror and see none but us-again the lone player. (Funny how the mood changes, if I use the word "wolf"!)

So much spoken of negative traits I.e, Ego but, not many of our "heroes" are devoid of them!  Something isn't right here. Come to think of it,  the greatest conspiracy theories may not necessarily be the existence of the "Illuminati" or "free masons", it might very well be communities trying to rewire us, dictating the right and wrong,  defining happiness, and trying to portray what "success" should look like! Spooky to think that- there may be many who benefit by doing so, and after all, this is just a racket aimed at elimination of people from the "race".

Putting it into perspective, is this why, the kid dropped plans of being an astronaut? Or thought of a more "practical" route of not being a sportsman and having no sense of regret and refusing to look back even during those spells of uncertainty?  Is this why choices made by us become the villain? Fair enough that, but probably we elude ourselves from scrutinizing the more impactful choices- which is often confused with the obvious.

"Where in the world's the forgotten? They're lost inside your memory You're dragging on, your heart's been broken As we all go down in history."

-- B.J.A.

Proving the nerds of the modern world aren't those behind the paper but behind the vinyl.

We need to keep our guard, if such communities really have evolved, eliminations are going to be surgical. With masses on the "social" network going all self-obsessed,- even the most "educated" and "intellectual" of the lot failing to see through a "like" -- it might not be long before we are divided. "Equality" does not ring alike to all ears, -"I am ready to live the life of of those below me"-said no man. And thus, it remains a very utopian concept even today.  Remember the 50's?-cigarette commercials aired, blacks struggling for rights-and all of it considered so normal. Should it really come as a surprise if Facebook become the next cigarette? The British got us addicted to tea, the Chinese addicted to opium; it has always been part of propaganda.  Just that this time, it is not the imperialistic ambition of a nation, rather, it is a force way more absolute- man.

Maybe, just maybe, it could be for something less narcissistic. It could be me, trying to reach out to the 15 year old kid. Trying to tell myself, how much I have changed since then. Coming to terms with how forever is just another word, subject to processes of decay and recedence.

As a 18 year turning kid realized blogging on silicon was no longer a gratifying task . I no longer remain on the edge of technology, quite content with snoozing in it's sheltered parts ironically. I'm no longer the chem-techy nerd banging his head to Meteora. Admittedly, I've lost the savviness!

"To Sum up......" I have not much to go on about on those lines. I just tried to word out me, in spite of Curd rice waiting before me. I think you may think 'Some'... But you actually thought what I just say. This blog will serve the last touch to all my thoughts. I leave the battle's judgement to the ethically patient reader (who is indeed a great source of inspiration!).

P.S.- Too  mainstream?,  you need to have an eye for detail! No fancy words and "minimal editing":),  that should suffice to stay clear from that judgement!

I really mean it when I say: THANK YOU FOR READING!! (Capitals makes it sound louder 😉)

Now time to take it easy on this Blog, getting back to real life and take on Curd rice with mooremolaga!